


Cum, Coke, and Olive Oil: A Tale of Two Linguines

by mikechampa



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Sex, Carbonara Cafe, Don't Try This At Home, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Smut, Inappropriate Use of Drugs, Like Wow this is So Fucking Tender, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Not to be taken seriously, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Recreational Drug Use, Too Many Words for Butthole, boofing, crack sprinkled in
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:48:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25124974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikechampa/pseuds/mikechampa
Summary: ~Love. Pain. Pasta. Cocaine.~
Relationships: Original Male Character/Original Male Character, Robert Finnegan/Edward Dalton





	Cum, Coke, and Olive Oil: A Tale of Two Linguines

**Author's Note:**

> hello and welcome to the most wholesome thing i've ever written on this site.  
> my friend natalie actually wrote the original story, then passed it over to me for editing and flavor text. together we worked and brought this to life  
> pls enjoy
> 
> i have never done coke before lmao

_The year was 1996, we set the scene inside a popular Italian restaurant, the Carbonara Cafe. Our hero is Robert, a plucky 16-year-old busser, with dreams of becoming a great chef._

_Enter Edward, a lanky, pale-faced burnout, with hair that shone like rubies, falling down to frame his sullen face._

_“But Dad, I don’t want to work at the Carbonara Cafe! I want to be the lead singer in my metal band, Death Moon!” His scarlet hair shook from side to side, and his father looked at him with disdain._

_“Son, I do hope you’ll reconsider, I know one day you’ll come around so there will always be a place for you here.”_

_Edward scoffed, turned on his heel, and walked away, his thick, juicy ass swaying as he left._

The spoiled owner’s son _, Robert thought to himself, watching the scene play out from behind his dish tub, eyes glued to the retreating nineteen year old. A small part of Robert, however, was tantalized by the other boy. The way he so easily stood up to his father, the way he so bravely followed his dreams instead of those of the owner. But what did this mean? Why was he so entranced by Edward? The red haired boy and his words bounced around in his mind all day. But maybe there_ was _more to the Carbonara Cafe, maybe he should follow_ his _dreams, and rise up with the ranks of other great chefs such as Emeril Lagass_ _é._

_That’s right._

_He would ascend into greatness._

Two years of high school, seven years of culinary school, a small stint in jail, and fourteen more years of navigating through life, a 38-year-old Robert found himself yet again at the Carbonara Cafe with a cushy managerial position. After having settled down and having a couple of kids, he was an empty shell of the man he wished he could be at sixteen, simply going through the motions.

“Ugh, I just wish this day would be over,” he lamented to no one in particular, mopping the sweat from his brow and underneath his face mask.

The thick, stocky man stood there, surveying the dining room of the establishment he managed, the Austin Carbonara Cafe. His warm, dark eyes scanned from side to side, keeping a lookout for the one person he desperately wanted to see.

Tonight would only be bearable because of Edward. Edward Dalton. With those dark, brooding eyes and almost permanent frown; Edward with his strong shoulders and firm, unyielding buttocks. Only Robert was allowed to see his tender interior. Robert would always do what he could to make Edward smile, or at the very least, stop him from having a complete meltdown at work. Robert was almost embarrassed to admit, how much the other man had come to mean to him. Surely it was only natural, Robert thought, rationalizing to himself, that his boss would have this sort of effect on him.

After all, hadn’t he given him a job? And health insurance? A major necessity in this day and age?

Sometimes, though, in the dead of night, once his wife was asleep, did he dare let his thoughts wander towards the other man. What he might look like unclothed, or better yet, how his naked form might look laying next to his…

Robert would try to shake it out of his head, but the thoughts seemed to follow him throughout the day. Much to his dismay, they also began to distract him at work. This particular Monday had been hard; his wife didn’t seem to give a shit about him anymore.

She would just leave for work in the mornings without saying a word, and this morning was no different. Robert hadn’t put much thought into the fact that he was living in a loveless, unsatisfying marriage; as far as he was concerned, he was not lacking in love.

Tonight, he was working with Edward, someone who cared about him and made him feel safe, someone who remembered the things he said, and seemed generally interested in both his life, and what he brought to the table.

“Hello, sir! How are you doing today?”

Robert jumped a little, Edward’s deep baritone jolting him out of his thoughts.

“Ah, I-I’m alright, how about you, Sir?” Robert stuttered, briefly taken aback.

“Oh, just living the dream,” Ed chortled.

They exchanged a quick back-and-forth about the weather, and the sales that transpired during the day’s early lunch rush, and then it was back to work as usual, while they prepared for the later dinner rush to hit.

xxx

The Carbonara Cafe sign dimmed, before flickering off. Edward had stayed after close, since the evening had become quite hectic, and, as per usual, they had been short-staffed.

“Another day, another dollar, Robert, my man!” Edward boomed, his voice ringing out over the now-empty dining room.

The other employees had all now filed out for the day. After loitering about, cracking jokes in the kitchen, the two managers realized they were the last two inhabitants inside the restaurant.

“I’m just glad we were able to get everyone out of here on time,” Rob said, before throwing a glance across his shoulder at Edward, “Everyone who matters, at least.”

Ed smirked, one side of his mouth curling up with a secret sort of satisfaction, “Well, I certainly won’t complain about the company. I can honestly say you’re one of my favourite managers.”

Robert blushed a deep scarlet. He’d always secretly hoped Edward had held him in this esteem.

Edward, noticing the effect he had over the shorter man, stepped closer, so that he and Robert were face-to-face.

Robert could feel the taller man’s warm, sweet breath caressing his cheeks.

“How about we keep this night going,” Edward started, in his deep baritone, “and buy a bottle of Jack? -- on me, of course.”

Robert’s heart soared, “O-oh, of course! Let me just, uh, call my wife, and--,” His hand paused its trajectory to the pocket that contained his phone. Thoughts of his cold, indifferent wife swirled in his head.

Edward threw his hand up, causing Robert’s thoughts to halt in their tracks.

“Bah! Women! I stopped talking to my wife years ago. Never been better!”

“Holy shit, that’s a long time!” Robert blurted out, before realizing that perhaps he shouldn’t have. In a softer voice, he continued, looking up at the older man, “Don’t you, you know…get lonely?”

Ed poured a couple of shots, and sat down at the nearest booth--Table 24. He seemed to parse through each word, rolling them carefully in his mouth, before replying, “Not in the way I _thought_ I’d be. And not for _who_ I thought I’d be lonely for.”

Robert sat down across from him, and Edward--without making eye-contact--slid a shot over to him. The two men raised their glasses in a mock-toast, and both immediately downed them in one gulp, no chaser. Wincing at the burn of the liquid, Rob set the small glass on the table with a thunk.

“I understand your feelings about your wife. I can’t stand mine, either. She’s always telling me how annoying and unattractive I am, and how she can’t stand the sound of my nasally voice. As if it’s my fault I have a deviated septum.”

Edward sucked in a sharp breath; nothing could be further from the truth. “You know, I happen to find you _very_ attractive.”

There was a pregnant pause in the room; the tension could be cut with a knife.

Robert bashfully muttered out a quiet, “Thank you, sir.”

Edward 'hmm'ed in return, electing instead to respond by filling their glasses up once more, to which they both repeated the motions, knocking the harsh liquid back.

Robert’s face was beginning to heat up, and he felt a tingle zing down the length of his spine as he glanced up at the other man. Was it just him, or was Ed undressing him with his eyes? Rob followed Edward’s line of sight down until it rested at his biceps, which, if Robert was being honest with himself, was something to be appreciated. He tended to purchase shirts that were one size down, purposefully allowing his muscles to bulge out of the sleeves they were confined to, which gave him the appearance of being even bulkier than he actually was. Which, by most accounts, was still quite bulky.

“Do you work out?” Edward blurted suddenly, his tongue loosened by the alcohol he had consumed.

“I, um, yes I do, actually. I try to go at least three times per week.”

“Ah yes,” Edward nodded, pouring them both another shot, “I also like to go a few times a week, but _who_ can find the time? Should we perhaps compare our two forms? To see who truly has the more powerful build?”

Robert could feel himself getting excited at the prospect of Edward’s proposition, and willed himself to calm down.

“Oh, what a coincidence, Sir, I was just thinking the same thing.” As soon as he said those words, Rob was almost--but not quite--certain he heard a quiet, authoritative groan coming from the other man at the word ‘sir.’

The two men proceeded to stand up from the table and unbutton their stiff work shirts, leaving Robert in a simple black tank-top, and Ed in a crisp, white undershirt.

“Heh, guess I didn’t realize how cold it’d be in here,” shivered Robert, a different kind of chill zinging up his spine.

“Don’t you worry, I’ve got something right here that’ll warm you up,” proffered Edward, another round of shots already sitting and waiting.

Both men gulped the liquid down, the thunk of glass against the cheaply-made table echoing across the empty restaurant.

“So,” Rob began, curling his right arm toward himself, making his muscles pop, “Like this?”

The taller man softly caressed the length of his arm, stopping once he reached the shorter’s shoulder. “Your deltoids,” Edward paused, gazing with an almost irreverent look in his eye, “they’re quite defined.”

Robert giggled, not unlike a school girl.

Sliding his hand under Robert’s chin, Edward gently lifted the other man’s face towards his. All time seemed to stop.

“Sir…” Rob breathed out.

That was all it took. Ed surged forward, erasing the space between them.

Suddenly, they were kissing passionately, their lips locked in a fierce embrace. Before Robert knew it, Edward’s tongue was tracing a pattern across his thin lips, desperately seeking entrance. Their hands, too, sought purchase upon one another. Edward dancing his hands across Robert’s posterior, one hand traveling north to cradle the back of his head. Robert, however, elected to simply frame Edward’s face with his, the roughness of his hands calloused from years of hard labor.

It wasn’t long before Ed decided he needed more. In a fit of passion, he took it upon himself to grasp the fabric of Rob’s simple tank top, and pull with all his might as the cheaply made shirt tore apart in his bare hands. His desires weren’t quite quenched, however, and he raised his arms up to yank the crisp fabric of his own undershirt up over his head, leaving the two of them bare chested. Still caught up in each other, their lips reconnected the moment both shirts were removed, Edward’s hands smoothly making their way to his own belt buckle, unfastening and pulling it through the loops in one swift motion.

Robert’s ears attuned to the sound of Edward’s dress pants falling to the floor, the rustling of crisp fabric hitting the painted concrete.

Finally, _finally_ , Robert’s dreams were coming true. He was about to suck Edward’s cock; his mouth watered just thinking about it. However, he was also nervous--he’d never pleasured another man before. Only in his deepest fantasies had he ever even seen another man’s penis. He was unsure how to begin, but reflected on his previous sexual encounters, recalling what it felt like to have his own cock serviced, and thought about what _he_ liked, and how that might transfer to Ed.

“Get on your knees, Robert,” Edward growled, and with the authority in his voice, Robert was all too happy to comply.

Falling to his knees at once, and swallowing any sense of nervousness, Rob did what he thought would never truly come to transpire, and reached up to pull down Ed’s surprisingly red boxer-briefs, the fabric falling down around his ankles.

Robert gently, but with some amount of pressure, pressed his thumbs into Edward’s thighs, massaging any tension out of the area, as Ed’s cock twitched in anticipation. Rob licked and bit at the soft flesh at the junction of Edward’s hip and thigh, wanting to draw out the act. Robert then gingerly took the other man’s long shaft betwixt his lips, and licked it from base to tip, before swallowing it whole, only gagging slightly at the intrusion into his silken throat.

Edward let out a long, satisfied moan as Rob’s head bobbed in between his thighs, and he threw a hand out against the wall to stabilize himself. With the smaller man licking and sucking in all the right places, Ed was prime for the plucking. His breathing was becoming more and more labored, and suddenly Robert felt his head being lifted away, as the other man’s cock fell from his lips.

“What…what’s happening?” Robert pouted, his lips swollen.

“Mm, my loyal little man, I don’t want this to be over just yet, I want to bury my seed deep within you.”

Rob licked a drop of pre-cum from the side of his mouth, and wiped it with the back of his hand. “Yes, that’s more than alright with me, sir,” he simpered, sitting back on his heels.

“Say, Robby,” Edward asked, giving the man below him a sideways glance, “You party?”

“Uh…” Robert was unsure how to answer.

Ed laughed, and walked back over to Table 24, where everything had begun. Lifting up the booth seat, he pulled out an entire kilo of cocaine, tucked and hidden away from the general populace, yet perfectly within plain sight.

“Let me rephrase that, Rob,” Edward began again, the bag firmly grasped in his hand, “Do you snort fat lines?”

Ed’s mouth pulled into a wicked grin as Robert replied, “No sir, can’t say that I do, but I’m ready and willing to try anything once…or twice.”

“I love that attitude,” the older man declared, rooting around for something, not able to locate the missing piece he needed.

“What are you looking for, can I help in any way?” Robert asked, his knees popping as he stood up from where he had yet been kneeling on the ground.

“Oh, just my manager card,” Edward replied, still fumbling.

“Have I got just the thing for you, Sir,” Rob grinned, reaching for the manager’s card that he, too, carried--on a retractable badge reel.

Edward smirked in response, leaning forward to take the card from where it rested on Robert's belt, fingers skimming across his hip as he did so, expertly using the card to separate and distribute enough of his product to form two perfect lines, ready and waiting for their willing noses.

Rob sat down at the booth excitedly, as Ed ran over to the drink station to procure a straw, grabbing the knife that the bartenders used to cut limes, and cut the straw into two smaller pieces, which he brought back to Table 24, and the man that was waiting for him.

Ed handed one of the straw pieces to Robert with a, “Ready?” But without waiting for a response, Ed put his own straw to his nose and dipped his head towards the first of the two lines he’d broken up.

“WHHHOOOOOOOO!” Shouted Edward, his eyes nearly bugging out of his head, pupils so dilated one could barely see the iris.

Robert put his straw to his nose, and paused before he could get any further. Was this truly what he wanted? Anal sex with his boss was one thing, but, hard drugs? Was this where Robert’s life was going?

After a few more seconds of silent contemplation, Robert came to a conclusion.

Yes.

Yes this was where his life was going. And he would be _damned_ if he was going to look back.

He then proceeded to snort his whole line in one go.

It was, _interesting_ , to say the least. The burn was instant, clearing everything in his nasal passages, only to have it accumulate in the back of his throat in a weird, viscous liquid, that caused him to grimace with every swallow.

He felt his heart rate begin to accelerate, and he suddenly felt as though he could easily run ten miles, and still have energy left over.

Robert looked over at Edward, who was currently face-first in the fine, powdery substance, and he realized that he loved this man, with his whole heart, and penis.

Thank God, thank the universe, for bringing them together. This was exactly what he needed to distract himself from his failing marriage.

Rob grabbed the Jack from earlier, and, foregoing a shot glass, proceeded to drink straight from the bottle. Making his way up out of the booth, he unbuckled his own pants, letting them fall to the floor with a soft thud, the girth of his soda can-cock swinging freely between his legs. He bent down toward Ed on the other side of the booth and they locked lips once more. Softer, this time.

Ed ran his fingers through Robert’s back hair, and pushed him into the seat so that they fell together in the booth. Ed on top of Robert, the way that it was always meant to be.

Pulling the younger man’s legs up, Edward placed Robert’s thighs to his stomach, and his feet to his shoulders.

Robert tensed his body, and suddenly felt as though he needed to speak up.

“I’ve, uh, never been with a man before,” he confessed, looking up into Edward’s dark, swirling eyes.

“I could tell, from the sub-par blowjob. But it’s nothing that we can’t fix or work on. We’ve all the time in the world,” He laid a hand on Robert’s chest, and brought their lips together, before whispering into his ear, “Don’t worry, I’ll go slow…But before we fuck, I want to make love.”

“I am nothing without you,” Robert whispered, as Edward slowly pressed two fingers into his mouth.

Rob hungrily suckled at the fingers, while Ed above him grunted in ecstasy. He pulled away from the other man’s wanting mouth, and began to lovingly trace the outline of Robert's anus.

Rob gasped in anticipation as he was breached, and Edward slipped in his index finger, gently pumping in and out, working the tight muscles open. As Robert slowly got used to the feeling, his hips began to move of their own accord. Ed smiled down at him, watching and listening to the stockier man’s gentle, breathy moans, and proceeded to add a second finger.

Robert’s eyes rolled back in his head, his cock so hard that the veins bulged out like the vines of a tree. Edward leaned down and gave him what he desired, and lapped at his porky member.

“Let’s try just the tip, Robby Bo-Bobby,”

Robert sucked Edward’s thumb back into his mouth, “Yes, Mr. Dalton.”

Edward then prodded his long, thin shaft against Robert’s proud, little, American button, the tip just barely grazing against it.

“Nyaaah,” Rob gasped, his back nearly arching off the booth seat in pleasure. “ _Fuck_ . Oh Ed, I want you _deep_ inside me.”

“Easy, baby boy, I don’t want to pop your cherry _that_ quickly.” Edward then pressed his lips against Robert’s cheek, and a warm, ecstatic feeling like nothing he’d so far experienced, flooded his body to the tips of his toes. The other man proceeded to create a trail of kisses from his cheek down to the divot of Robert’s collarbone. His presence was immediately missed as he stood up from the booth, leaving the smaller man in the greasy seat, hips swaying as he walked toward the kitchen.

“Wuh-where are you going?” Rob somehow remained rock solid as he began to sit up as Ed began to rummage around loudly in the back, for god knows what, and then looked before him.

There was still a veritable mountain of cocaine left on the table, and a fair amount of whiskey left as well. He grabbed the bottle and took a generous swig from it, before foregoing the straw and planting his face into the coke mountain, inhaling deeply from both nostrils.

“Lordy Loo~!” Robert crooned.

“Haha, that’s right, Robby my man, keeping the party going!” Edward burst out of the kitchen with a typical stainless steel bowl and ladle.

Robert stood up from the table, erect and ready to go.

“We have to be careful, this is hot olive oil. I was going to use this to help me properly enter you.”

The shorter man immediately made his way over to Edward, and as seductively as he could, climbed on top of the bar.

“Make love to me, Sir,” Robert breathed out, as he presented himself on all fours in front of the taller man.

“No, no, this won’t do. I’d much rather see your face.” Edward declared, his free hand resting on the counter.

Robert took the initiative and twisted around, curling his legs up and putting his hands behind his knees.

Ed hoisted himself up on the bar as well, bowl and ladle never far from him as he scooped a healthy serving of the oil and poured it in and around Rob’s puckering hole.

He bent down and spread it on the other man’s cock and balls as well, making sure everything had a nice, even coat. To Rob’s surprise, Edward even began to suck at his balls. He bit down on his lower lip so hard he thought he tasted blood, but god, it only made him _harder._

The other man began licking and sucking his way up Robert’s bumpy shaft, as he spread his legs farther, allowing Edward better access.

“Ah, Ed, please. Fuck me. Ah, jeez I need it!”

Edward pointed his pale cock down into Robert’s opening and slowly inched his way inside, the fat head of his cock popping in after some resistance. His breath caught in his throat as he continued to press inside further, only stopping once the two men were completely flush against each other, hips against hips.

Rob was shocked at the lack of pain, as if his muscles were completely lax, and he felt his walls peacefully expanding, inviting Ed to explore deeper within his man cave.

The older man briefly stilled his motions, enjoying the closeness between them.

“I only dreamed that this day might transpire. I love ya, bud.”

Robert squirmed with delight and put both his rough hands on Edward’s clammy face, pulling him in for a long kiss.

“I love you, too. You are my light, my darkness, and all the grey that lies between. I awake to your name on my lips, your face in my mind, and your voice in my ears. You are the President of the United States of my tight, little ass.”

”Wow,” said Edward, tears beginning to form in the corners of his eyes. “I never thought that our love could be molded into words, but you spoke them true. My love for you knows no bounds.” Ed’s hips stuttered, and he began to pump deeper, loving the yips and moans that poured out of Robert’s mouth.

He picked up the pace. Soon, he was gliding in and out with no resistance, Rob’s hole having expanded into a perfect ‘O’.

Faster, and faster he went, until Edward came, what felt like many times over, burying his face into Robert’s shoulder and sinking his teeth into the soft flesh, as rope after rope shot deeper into the younger man’s orifice.

Robert couldn’t take it any longer, he felt as though he was about to explode. All it would take would be one feather-light touch to send him over the edge. Edward sank bonelessly into Robert, their stomachs and cocks pressed together, but that was enough. Rob uselessly rubbed himself up against Ed’s prone form, until he was cumming as well, eyes rolled back in his head, cock only serving to add to the sticky puddle between the two men.

Rob’s whole body throbbed; he felt so alive in this moment. Edward slipped out of him and rolled to the other side of the bar so that they were laying side-to-side, as Ed reached over to gently stroke Robert’s neatly-trimmed facial hair.

“My, my,” Ed mused quietly, “And to think, we are only getting started.”

Robert laughed, and Edward--quick as a whip--jumped down from the bar, and grabbed the Jack, and a fistful of coke, before running back to where Rob lay waiting.

Rob took a gulp of the Jack, and a sniff of the coke, passing the bottle along back to Ed, who polished it off, before shoving the rest of the powdery substance into his face, Scarface style.

Looking at each other with bright, wild eyes, they embraced once more; their thirst could not be quenched with one round.

xxx

As the drugs and alcohol coursed through their system, their actions became more sloppy and less coherent. It felt as though they had been going for round after round, pound after pound. They couldn’t tell where one man ended and the other began.

However, because of this, they found that they were lasting longer, as well. Although, whether it was actually “lasting longer” or “the substances we’ve put in our bodies have extraordinarily lessened our ability to cum,” very much remained to be seen.

Currently, the two men were spooned together, Ed thrusting shallowly into Robert, who reached up to wipe the sweat off his face.

Suddenly, the older man stilled his hips, a brilliant idea pinging through his skull.

“Robby, my man,” Edward began, peeling himself away, “Have you ever heard of ‘boofing’?”

“Boofing? That can’t be a real word,” Robert rolled over to look the other in the eyes, his own brow furrowed.

“Stay right where you are.”

Edward slid down off the other side of the bar, slapping Rob’s ass as he did so.

With a hop in his step, he traipsed over back to where his stash was located, and scooped a small amount into the palm of his hand.

“Just you wait, this feels _amazing._ ”

Making his way back over to the man that lay before him, Edward gently prodded Rob’s love button, enjoying the way it clenched around his finger, as he stuffed the puckering knot full of cocaine.

“Will this hurt?” Robert asked--with absolutely no inhibitions--straining his neck to watch Ed assuage his sphincter.

Edward paused his ministrations.

“It may sting a little upon entry, but pain and pleasure are two sides of the same coin.”

The older man leaned over to plant a chaste kiss on Robert’s cheek, before lining himself up once more, rubbing the tip of his cock against the quivering hole.

Arching his back, pushing himself towards Edward ever closer, the two bodies met in one fell swoop, as Ed pushed farther inside. Robert immediately felt the sting of the cocaine, and whimpered in pleasure, the drug absorbing through the thin, veiny membrane of his rectum.

Edward normally gave quiet, soft grunts during intercourse, but this was the most intense fuck he’d _ever_ had. He let the walls he’d built up around himself fall down as he lost himself entirely to the pleasure. His moans echoed throughout the silent restaurant, and reverberated in his eardrums as he pounded into the man beneath him.

Robert could tell Edward had lowered his guard, even in the throes of his own pleasure. Knowing that the other man was enjoying himself, only made it more intense for him as well. Clawing at Ed’s pale back, he let out a sharp, high pitched moan as the man above him plowed ever deeper inside him, every other thrust making his body shudder. The intensity built higher and higher, as Edward’s prick kissed his prostate, milking him to near completion.

If it kept going like this, Robert would cum without his own cock even being touched.

No sooner had Rob had that thought, however, that a hand snaked down and found its way to his dick, sloppily jerking him off out-of-time with Edward’s thrusts, snapping up into the younger man’s hips.

Rob felt as though he was having an out-of-body experience. As though he was looking down on himself from the ceiling. Before he knew it, he was turning into a cum volcano, painting Edward’s chest with his white, sticky seed.

“Oh, _fuck_ , Robby, _yeah_.”

Edward, taking the other man’s cue, picked up the pace with bruising force, and slammed into Robert’s winking eye.

One last time, Ed buried himself to the hilt, and Rob arched up to meet him, as spurts of hot, milky cum flowed out of the tip of his dick and into the hole of the man he loved.

“Fill me _up_ , Sir,” Robert moaned, tossing his head back.

“Your wish is my command,” strained Edward, sweat dripping off his forehead. “One hot load, coming right up.”

Ed chuckled to himself; of course he’d make a kitchen joke at the moment of climax.

He collapsed on top of Robert. Exhausted, but satisfied. The two men laid there like that, panting breathlessly on top of the granite bar.

Stroking the length of the older man’s back, Robert began.

“You know,” he paused, looking deep into Edward’s eyes. “I loved you once before.”

“Truly?”

“Yes, when I was a lowly busser, and you…you were the owner’s son. We seemed worlds apart, and yet. I envied you. I wished I could grasp at the light that radiated off of you. You were such a free spirit. I dreamt of your red hair years after leaving this place. I thought I’d never return. But my mind, oh. It always returned to you.”

Edward curled an index finger underneath Robert’s chin, turning the younger man’s face to meet his own, their eyes locking.

“We’re just two linguines, you and I. The recipe of our love transcends reality.”

The warmth of their two bodies so close together felt nice, and safe. It wasn’t long before they were resting peacefully, Rob’s hand resting on the back of Edward's neck, Ed’s arm wrapped around Robert, pulling him close.

With a press of the lips to a balding head, both men quickly drifted off into slumber.

xxx

The sweet morning light peeked through the window blinds, but it would still be a few hours before the two lovers would awake. Cum, coke, and olive oil mixed together to make an interesting paste that seemed to adhere the two men together.

Light, fluttery snores were heavily contrasted by a deep, raucous vibration. As the two men snored, their personalities shone through, even in this.

Robert had one leg hiked over Edward’s hip, and Ed’s arm was thrown haphazardly across the length of the other man’s body.

Both of their faces, however, were completely lax, skin smooshing into each other, and the hard surface of the bar that served as a pillow.

A loud crash suddenly rang out throughout the empty restaurant, alerting them to the fact that they were not alone.

“WHAT THE _FUCK_ IS GOING ON HERE???” Screeched a familiar, raspy voice.

“Shit,” thought Robert, eyes blearily acclimating to the bright, filtered light that filled the restaurant in a warm glow.

It was Jennifer.

They had stayed here all night.

While still semi-glued together, Edward’s soft cock yet buried within Robert, they rolled off the bar, landing on the floor with a wet thud.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Jennifer began, “we have _thirty minutes_ before the kitchen guys get here. I can’t fucking believe this shit. Get off the fucking floor.”

She started forward, with the intent to peel the two men away from each other, before thinking better of it, a disgusted look on her face. It looked as though the appalled woman couldn’t decide if she wanted to scream, throw up, or both.

“I’m going to the back to smoke a cigarette. I’m going to come back at 9, and I don’t want to see any fucking inclination that this happened.”

Without another word, or another look back, she stormed away, disappearing behind the swinging kitchen doors.

“Uh, wait, Jennifer, uh,” Robert began, “I think we’re kinda, uh, stuck here.”

“Well what do you want _me_ to do about it?” Jennifer snapped, her voice carrying out from inside the kitchen.

Coming more into consciousness, Edward was able to slowly unstick himself from Robert, both of them wincing as their chest hairs were pulled away from the cement-like substance that had formed over the night. Ed groped around behind the bar for a dish towel, and used the nozzle that sprayed simple water, and began to clean each of their bodies, tending to Rob before himself.

“Thankfully I work in the kitchen today, so no one will be able to tell I’m wearing the same clothes as yesterday.

“Thank god I don’t open!”

Ed smiled, looking down at Rob as if doting on his little hen. “Go home, get some sleep. What are you going to tell your wife?”

Robert looked over his shoulder at Edward, and the two shared a knowing glance; this was only the beginning.

“I don’t think I will. I don’t think we’ll need to worry about it.”

The two continued cleaning up after themselves, quickly donning their clothes, and removing any evidence of their ‘partying.’ In no time at all, the restaurant was spotless once more, just in time for the opening employees to begin filing in, each one of them clocking in on the computers. None of them the wiser as to what had only so recently transpired.

Robert moved to slip out the back door, and Edward, ever so discreetly, patted him on the bottom as he did so. Turning back to the kitchen, Ed began prepping for the morning’s shift, and the next chapter in his life.

“Another day, another dollar.”

End.

**Author's Note:**

> please feel free to find us [on](http://mikechampa.tumblr.com) [tumblr](http://illrememberyouintherapy.tumblr.com) and [twitter](http://twitter.com/vadereloha) [for](http://twitter.com/macnbeez) more terrible everything


End file.
